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D9 Dating: Fun Events Your Chapter Can Throw to Help Single Members Find Their Dream Partners

Post-college connecting doesn’t have to be at the bar. the Love Engineer®, Alex Merritt wants you to remix a few old classics.

On any day of the week you’ll find a local BGLO chapter fulfilling their missions and serving their community.  We work hard and as the adage goes – we should be playing even harder. But sometimes when it comes to what to do for fun, we may feel lost for options.

From 9 to 5 most people have it covered, busying themselves with professional pursuits by day. But by night, the options tend to thin out, especially if you’ve moved past the club scene. Dating in 2018 usually means picking up your phone and swiping left or right, so it seems like making human connections through other means is slowly becoming a thing of the past.

It can be quite the chore to figure out what to do to meet great people outside of the bar scene.   Though we are often doing community service the timing and the setting isn’t usually conducive to connecting beyond the activity.

The “Divine 9” is full of men and women with common interests so it’s ripe for lasting relationships. It’s really a matter of opportunity to get people together and you have to be willing to get creative. I’ve been hosting Dessert & Discussion events for years that centered around actual conversations between men and women and what I’ve learned is that the best interaction is human interaction.  

While strolling and stepping still have their place, many singles are looking for something more – real relationships. Alumni Chapters are uniquely positioned to help their members and their cities solve a growing struggle – how do we get to know each other? While you may not be in a position to play cupid, consider the other ways to create social experiences that bring like-minded individuals together to foster connections beyond just serving their chapter duties together.  

Each organization is made up of some of the finest men and women around why not create a space and provide a place for these fabulous people to meet. Grab your event planning friends and take advantage of these resources.

Escape the Room

Escape Rooms are live action missions where a group of people is tasked with finding their way out of a single room.  These hour-long “excursions” offer adventurers the opportunity to crack codes, discover clues, and solve puzzles. For those with their love radar up, it grants you with the opportunity to get to know someone under unique circumstances.

Adult Game Night

You can either break out some classics games like Spades.  Or mix in some Taboo or Charades. Or if you really want to spice it up.  The War On Love Game® is provocative card game, specifically designed to help men and women WIN the War on Love,  which is a lack of communication. This game is simple to play yet will keep the laughs and connection going on for hours.  How do I know adult games are the wave? It creates real engagement – valuable, delectable and stimulating conversation.  The very thing that is missing from today’s dating tapestry. The War on Love will make you put your phone down and by the time you pick it back up hopefully it will be to save a new number.   

Festival Meet-Up

There are so many annual festivals in virtually every city in the nation. Gathering your Divine 9 brethren and sisters to join you for a day of co-celebration might just be the perfect way to re-introduce yourself to each other. Festivals are especially unique because they have the “mini-vacation” feel even if you’re attending one a few miles away. Plan ahead and take some time to organize travel to a larger festival and make it an even more special event. Essence Fest, anyone?

Happy Hour

Happy hours are the classic go-to for after work socializing. But why not do it with a twist?  Reach out to your local museum to see what exhibits or special events are going on. Host an event at the museum to explore the latest exhibit and have members come join up for an “teachable” evening of fellowship and libations that is sure to get hands shaking and selfies snapping.

The key to making these social events work for you is to ask the sororities and fraternities to collaborate. One person shouldn’t be bogged down with the task of organizing – it should be a group effort. The goal is to get to know each other better, and allow the laws of nature to take it from there. Allow creative ways for people to identify themselves, in addition to their name so everyone can peel back their layers a little. When the work is done, we want to relax and make new connections.  It doesn’t have to be about finding love – but that is always a possible bonus when you put people with similar life experiences in the same room.


Alex Merritt, The Love Engineer,  is a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.’s Minneapolis/St. Paul Alumnae Chapter.  She is on a mission to help Powerhouse women and the men that love them, break down barriers and build amazing relationships one Discussion at a time.  To learn more visit